It’s a common phrase in fairy tales, the promise of a “happily ever after”. But in real life, it can seem elusive and fleeting. However, new research has uncovered the key to achieving a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Picture this: a couple in their 80s, holding hands as they stroll through their neighborhood. They’ve been married for over 60 years and still seem head-over-heels in love. How did they do it? That’s the question researchers set out to answer.
Studies have long shown that communication and trust are essential components of a healthy relationship. But the new research, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, found that the key to a happy, long-lasting partnership is something more fundamental: kindness.
The study followed 121 couples over a period of several years and found that those who displayed kindness towards each other on a daily basis were much more likely to have a successful relationship. Kindness was defined as “an act of benevolence, an inclination to promote the well-being of others.”
But what does kindness look like in a relationship? It can be as simple as a compliment or a hug, or as complex as supporting your partner through a difficult time. It can involve taking time to understand their perspective, or making small sacrifices for their happiness.
What’s more, the study found that the effects of kindness were cumulative — couples who showed regular kindness towards each other were more likely to have a successful relationship in the long term.
Of course, kindness alone won’t solve every issue in a relationship. But the researchers suggest that it can be a powerful tool for building a solid foundation and weathering the inevitable ups and downs of life together.
So, if you’re looking for the secret to a “happily ever after”, it might be simpler than you think — just be kind to each other.
A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul
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John Gottman‘s findings:The Gottman Institute emphasizes that a long-term, fulfilling relationship requires consistent effort and commitment. This includes demonstrating love and care through everyday actions rather than grand gestures.
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Idealizing the partner:Studies suggest that perceiving your partner more positively than they are in reality can lead to greater satisfaction and a longer-lasting relationship. This idealism fuels hope and optimism, which are crucial for overcoming challenges.
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Making the relationship a priority:Prioritizing the relationship by waking up each day with a commitment to each other can foster a sense of purpose and shared goals, contributing to a happier, more fulfilling relationship.
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The role of gratitude and self-compassion:The Psychology Today blog emphasizes the importance of appreciating the good in your life and practicing self-kindness.
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Building strong relationships:Surrounding yourself with supportive and encouraging loved ones can significantly impact your overall happiness and well-being.
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Seeking professional support:Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor if you’re struggling to cope with life’s challenges, as professional support can be invaluable in navigating difficult times.
